What is ‘crapfit’?

‘Crapfit’ is a word Anna Runkle made up, for the phenomenon where people traumatised in childhood get too good at fitting themselves to unacceptable people and situations. 

This term to describe a situation where we find ourselves fitting into relationships, situations, or environments that are not good for us, not because we actually belong there, but because we somehow make ourselves fit. It’s like trying to squeeze into shoes that are too small — uncomfortable, painful, and ultimately not right for us — but we convince ourselves that we ‘should’ be in them, or that we somehow ‘need to’ fit in, even if it compromises our well-being.

Etiam placerat velit vitae dui blandit sollicitudin. Vestibulum tincidunt sed dolor.

The ‘crap’ part of crapfit refers to the situations or people that aren’t healthy or nurturing. These could be toxic relationships, environments that drain us, or situations that ask us to tolerate behaviours or values that don’t align with who we truly are. The ‘fit’ part is how we adjust or mould ourselves to these circumstances, often at the expense of our own needs, self-respect, and happiness.

Settling for crumbs doesn’t keep you fed, it keeps you starving.

– Danielle LaPorte –

How people end up in these crapfitting situations? Sometimes it’s due to a deep-seated belief that we don’t deserve better, or a pattern of tolerating unhealthy behaviours because we’ve learned to accept it — maybe from childhood or past experiences. We might fear being alone, fear conflict, or feel like we have to prove ourselves by enduring these negative situations.

Etiam placerat velit vitae dui blandit sollicitudin.

The painful thing is that when we crapfit, we often feel trapped or resigned. We convince ourselves that we must ‘make it work’ or that we’re just ‘being too sensitive’. But the truth is, we deserve to be in spaces where we are respected, valued, and treated with kindness. Breaking free from a ‘crapfit’ involves recognising these patterns, acknowledging our worth, and making choices that honour our emotional health and happiness.

Ultimately, it’s about learning to recognise when we’re fitting ourselves into something that isn’t right for us and giving ourselves permission to leave, change, or seek out a better fit.