Do we have codependent tendencies?

Codependent tendencies refer to patterns of behaviour in which a person tends to prioritize the needs, desires, and well-being of others over their own, often to the point of neglecting their own emotional, physical, or mental health. This dynamic can develop in various types of relationships, but it is typically common in intimate partnerships, family dynamics, or caregiving situations. People with codependent tendencies may find themselves excessively involved in the problems or emotions of others, often at their own expense.

Here are some key characteristics of co-dependency:

1. People-pleasing

Codependent individuals often go out of their way to make others happy, sometimes at the expense of their own needs. They may fear rejection or abandonment and feel responsible for others’ feelings or actions.

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2. Low self-worth

A common trait of co-dependency is a lack of self-esteem. The individual may define their worth based on how well they are able to care for or please others, rather than having a strong and independent sense of self.

3. Difficulty in setting boundaries

People with codependent tendencies may struggle to say no or establish clear personal boundaries. They may allow others to overstep boundaries, taking on more responsibility than they can handle, or tolerating behaviour that feels unhealthy or disrespectful.

4. Being excessively responsible for others

A person with codependent tendencies often feels a sense of duty to fix or rescue others, whether it’s emotional issues, addiction, or other problems. They may feel they are the only one who can help or that it’s their job to make sure others are okay.

Allowing others to suffer the consequences of their own actions, without enabling them, is the best motivation for them to undertake the difficult task of change.

– Darlene Lancer –

5. Avoidance of conflict

To maintain harmony and avoid potential rejection, a codependent person may avoid confrontation, suppressing their own needs or opinions. This can result in them not expressing their true feelings or desires, leading to emotional suppression.

6. Fear of abandonment

There’s often an underlying fear of abandonment or being alone, which can drive a person to stay in unhealthy or unbalanced relationships. The fear of losing someone can make them tolerate toxic behaviours, or sacrifice their own happiness to keep the relationship intact.

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7. Enabling behaviour

Codependent individuals may enable others’ dysfunctional or harmful behaviours (such as addiction, irresponsibility, or poor decision-making) because they feel it’s their job to protect or fix the other person.

8. emotional dependency

Codependent people may rely heavily on others for validation, emotional support, and a sense of identity. Their emotional well-being may be closely tied to the behaviour or approval of others, making them feel anxious or insecure when relationships are unstable.

If you find these traits resonate with you or someone you know, exploring further with a therapist could be really beneficial to understand the dynamics at play and work on personal growth.