What is self-sabotage

Self-sabotage refers to patterns of behaviour or thought that actively prevent someone from achieving their goals or experiencing success, even when they consciously want those things. It’s often driven by subconscious fears, insecurities, or unaddressed emotional conflicts. While the person may outwardly desire a positive outcome, they unintentionally engage in actions that derail their progress or set them up for failure.

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Self-sabotaging behaviours can take many forms, such as procrastination, perfectionism, self-criticism, or making choices that are detrimental to one’s well-being. It can also show up in situations like avoiding important responsibilities, pushing people away, or failing to follow through on commitments.

Self-sabotage is like a game of mental tug-of-war. It is the conscious mind versus the subconscious mind where the subconscious mind always eventually wins.

– Bo Bennett –

These behaviours are often rooted in deeper psychological issues, like fear of failure, fear of success, low self-esteem, or past trauma. The person may subconsciously believe they don’t deserve success, or they may be trying to avoid the discomfort that comes with change or growth.

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Understanding self-sabotage involves recognising these patterns and exploring the underlying beliefs or emotions that drive them. Therapy can often help us address these patterns, develop healthier coping strategies, and build more supportive ways of thinking and acting toward ourselves.